I wonder who I would be....

I wonder who I would be if I had never became a mom. I'm sure I wouldn't be so pale as I am now. I would probably have more time to stop by the tanning salon. My hair probably wouldn't have as many split ends. I tend to lose track of the last time I got my haircut these days. My eyebrows probably wouldn't look like caterpillars because I would probably remember to get them waxed on a regular basis. So basically I would probably look more put together than I do now. I would probably be that girl that wears all name brand clothes because I would have money to spend on them. Instead now, I use all that money to buy diapers and wipes and baby food. I would probably be the girl that could meet her friends out for a drink after work, but instead I'm giving my baby a bath and reading bed time stories and singing my baby to sleep. I would probably be more rested and not have dark circles under my eyes from waking up at 3am to play with a baby that did not want to go back to bed. My house would definitely be more put together. The clothes would be folded and put away, instead of sitting in the laundry basket, there wouldn't be dishes in the sink, dinner would always be ready at the same time every night. Instead I'm having to make sure my baby isn't playing in the toilet water or pulling forks and spoons out of the dishwasher or dragging pots and pans out of the cabinets. If I had never became a mom I would probably be a little bit skinner and would have more time to workout and run instead of catching up on sleep. If I had never became a mom I would never fully understand how precious life is. I would never know how fast time flies. I would never learn that being a mom is the hardest, yet most rewarding job a person can ever have. If I had never became a mom I would have never found out who I really am or who my husband really is. If I had never became a mom I would have never learned who my true friends are or how much family really means to me. If I had never became a mom I would never fully comprehend how much it can actually hurt YOU to see someone you love, especially your own child, cry and be in pain, and that you would do anything in the entire world to take that pain away. I would have never learned that when he is hurt, it probably hurts me more than him. If I had never became a mom I would never understand the true meaning of a mother's love. I would have never learned how hard it actually was for my mother to do what she did. If I had never became a mom I would not be as happy as I am today. I would be a woman who had no purpose, no direction. I would be lonely and I would be missing out on something way better than working hard, working out, being tan, and being successful. Sure, it's great to be those things, and you can do all those things while being a mom, but the women that choose not to be a mom or think that they won't accomplish their bucket list if they become a mom, have no idea what they are missing out on. They would probably say I don't know what I am missing out on because I am a mom and all the sacrifices I have to make. The thing is however, is that I have the best of both worlds. I can do all the things that they are doing AND be a mom. I can have dreams and goals and a huge bucket list. I don't need to complete a bucket list before I can be a mom. People that believe that think their life is "over" when they have a child. To me...my life has just begun.

Being a Mom

Every mom knows that being a mother is one of the hardest and rewarding jobs in the world. Every day is a blessing and it's hard to believe how much work goes into each day. I feel like I have a different choice to make regarding my son on a daily basis and as a first time mom it is very hard to know if you are making the right one. At the end of the day if my son is happy and content then I think I've done my job as a mother. A mother can never love too much. Some days seem longer than others and it seems as though the hours just drag and drag, but the weeks go fast and I think the years will even go faster. I think back to when Hunter was a newborn and I honestly do not know how I did it. I felt clueless on what to do and I'm not sure I even knew the right thing to do, but it's so true that your motherly instinct just kicks in. You just KNOW what to do and what is best for your child. Sure, there are times you have no idea what to do if you can't get rid of his diaper rash after slathering on Desitin or why he's crying at 2 in the morning and won't go back to sleep, but eventually, everything falls into place. Every day is a new lesson for me. I learn new strategies daily on what works best for my son. I've learned that he rubs his eyes when he gets tired and wants to go to sleep, or he'll cry if he's hungry, or he'll lift up his arms to you if he wants you to pick him up. When I smile, he smiles and when I laugh, he wants to laugh with me. The thing about motherhood is there is always someone out there that thinks they know what's best for YOUR child. There are lots of tips and advice that I have used and I found it comforting to hear what other mom's did and have gone through. It's hard to know what's right or wrong, but at the end of the day if your baby is happy, loved, and has a full tummy, I think you're doing your job. I've learned that while I'm taking care of him, he's taking care of me too, and he doesn't even know it.