I wonder who I would be....

I wonder who I would be if I had never became a mom. I'm sure I wouldn't be so pale as I am now. I would probably have more time to stop by the tanning salon. My hair probably wouldn't have as many split ends. I tend to lose track of the last time I got my haircut these days. My eyebrows probably wouldn't look like caterpillars because I would probably remember to get them waxed on a regular basis. So basically I would probably look more put together than I do now. I would probably be that girl that wears all name brand clothes because I would have money to spend on them. Instead now, I use all that money to buy diapers and wipes and baby food. I would probably be the girl that could meet her friends out for a drink after work, but instead I'm giving my baby a bath and reading bed time stories and singing my baby to sleep. I would probably be more rested and not have dark circles under my eyes from waking up at 3am to play with a baby that did not want to go back to bed. My house would definitely be more put together. The clothes would be folded and put away, instead of sitting in the laundry basket, there wouldn't be dishes in the sink, dinner would always be ready at the same time every night. Instead I'm having to make sure my baby isn't playing in the toilet water or pulling forks and spoons out of the dishwasher or dragging pots and pans out of the cabinets. If I had never became a mom I would probably be a little bit skinner and would have more time to workout and run instead of catching up on sleep. If I had never became a mom I would never fully understand how precious life is. I would never know how fast time flies. I would never learn that being a mom is the hardest, yet most rewarding job a person can ever have. If I had never became a mom I would have never found out who I really am or who my husband really is. If I had never became a mom I would have never learned who my true friends are or how much family really means to me. If I had never became a mom I would never fully comprehend how much it can actually hurt YOU to see someone you love, especially your own child, cry and be in pain, and that you would do anything in the entire world to take that pain away. I would have never learned that when he is hurt, it probably hurts me more than him. If I had never became a mom I would never understand the true meaning of a mother's love. I would have never learned how hard it actually was for my mother to do what she did. If I had never became a mom I would not be as happy as I am today. I would be a woman who had no purpose, no direction. I would be lonely and I would be missing out on something way better than working hard, working out, being tan, and being successful. Sure, it's great to be those things, and you can do all those things while being a mom, but the women that choose not to be a mom or think that they won't accomplish their bucket list if they become a mom, have no idea what they are missing out on. They would probably say I don't know what I am missing out on because I am a mom and all the sacrifices I have to make. The thing is however, is that I have the best of both worlds. I can do all the things that they are doing AND be a mom. I can have dreams and goals and a huge bucket list. I don't need to complete a bucket list before I can be a mom. People that believe that think their life is "over" when they have a child. To me...my life has just begun.

Being a Mom

Every mom knows that being a mother is one of the hardest and rewarding jobs in the world. Every day is a blessing and it's hard to believe how much work goes into each day. I feel like I have a different choice to make regarding my son on a daily basis and as a first time mom it is very hard to know if you are making the right one. At the end of the day if my son is happy and content then I think I've done my job as a mother. A mother can never love too much. Some days seem longer than others and it seems as though the hours just drag and drag, but the weeks go fast and I think the years will even go faster. I think back to when Hunter was a newborn and I honestly do not know how I did it. I felt clueless on what to do and I'm not sure I even knew the right thing to do, but it's so true that your motherly instinct just kicks in. You just KNOW what to do and what is best for your child. Sure, there are times you have no idea what to do if you can't get rid of his diaper rash after slathering on Desitin or why he's crying at 2 in the morning and won't go back to sleep, but eventually, everything falls into place. Every day is a new lesson for me. I learn new strategies daily on what works best for my son. I've learned that he rubs his eyes when he gets tired and wants to go to sleep, or he'll cry if he's hungry, or he'll lift up his arms to you if he wants you to pick him up. When I smile, he smiles and when I laugh, he wants to laugh with me. The thing about motherhood is there is always someone out there that thinks they know what's best for YOUR child. There are lots of tips and advice that I have used and I found it comforting to hear what other mom's did and have gone through. It's hard to know what's right or wrong, but at the end of the day if your baby is happy, loved, and has a full tummy, I think you're doing your job. I've learned that while I'm taking care of him, he's taking care of me too, and he doesn't even know it.

Where has it all gone?

Well, it has been quite some time since I've let you all in on what's going on in my life. I just really got caught up in LIFE! I started a new job so now I'm working during the day, which has become amazing for myself, my family, and my relationship with my husband. I'm not sure how much longer we could have handled me working at night. When I was working at night that didn't leave us much time for the bedroom and as most of you know, when you have a new baby in the house, most of the time you spend in your bedroom you are not awake for. We got married in October and we definitely skipped the honeymoon stage and never really got to be newlyweds. I wouldn't change it for the world though. Our little guy is worth it! Anyway, back to life! Little man is walking with his little walker and stands up next to the couch and walks all along it. He's going to be walking before we know it. I'm not real sure how I feel about that. I feel like he needs me less and less each day and at times I miss when he completely needed me to do everything for him. But, I love love love love watching him grow and learn. He goes to daycare now and it has been so fun to watch him interact with other babies. It's so exciting to watch him become a little boy! At times I miss being home with him all day everyday, but I like working and I like that he's getting time with other children and teachers.

I recently started buying diapers and wipes off of Diapers.Com and let's just say, I like it! I love that it arrives to house super fast and I don't have to pay shipping! Gosh, babies are expensive. How do people do it when they have twins? If I could spend every cent on little man, I totally would. But I guess I need to put gas in my car, pay the utilities, pay the house payment, and put food on the table for the hubby and I...I'm sure some of you can relate, if I won the lottery, I would definitely be spending/saving most of it on little guy. I guess that's what happens when you become a mom. Everything changes, priorities change, views adapt. That's what makes life so eventful and so fun. You can't predict anything and you just take it all as it comes. I've definitely changed as a person. Thanks to my son, he's made me see what life is all about, what it has to offer. I can't wait to see what else he is going to teach me.

We had a great Easter!!! I think he had fun on his first Easter egg hunt!! :) AHHH! Pure happiness!!!

Feel the Love

Ohhh...it's almost Valentine's Day. It's not of my favorite holidays but now that I'm married and have a little guy I think it's a little more fun than usual. Any holiday is better with a kid around! I try to come up with cute ideas/gifts that are unique. I think everyone needs to remember why we have Valentine's Day - to show our friends and family that we care, that we love them. Sure, it's easy to get caught up in all the big teddy bears and red and white hearts, but we need to remember that we love the people in ours lives!

Last Valentine's Day I wrote on a bunch of heart sticky notes a reason why I loved Ross. I put them on a wall and on Valentine's Day he read all of them. He loved it and thought it was the best present I could have given him because normally I don't tell him things like that.

I also made him chocolate covered strawberries. I love love love them so I'm not sure if I made them more for him or me, but regardless they were amazing and I think I was pretty creative when it came to the decorating!

Anyway, I just wanted to share that sometimes the simplest gifts are best. Go tell someone you love them, because that is the best gift of all.

This was the table at our last Valentine's Day last year. I bought him a Valentine's Day cookie, sparkling grape juice (I was pregnant!) and a couple little small gifts. It was perfect!
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Way ahead of Everyone

I'm married, have a baby, and I live 5 hours away from most of my best friends. Most of my friends aren't married and only a few have babies. I feel like many of my friends can't relate to what I'm going through in my life. I want to talk about diaper rash and teething and they want to talk about what bars they went to the night before. My life revolves around cleaning bottles, baby lotion, middle of the night feedings. They just aren't quite there yet. I get excited when Hunter starts rocking on his knees and I think he's going to learn to crawl. I jump up and down and yell when he learns something new. They get excited when they take a shot or can sleep in until noon. I'm the mom who makes the weird faces, silly noises, and dances around the room just to get a little grin out of Hunter. If anyone walked in the room and saw me they would probably think I'm crazy. It's kind of amazing what you will do just to make your child smile. I sing made up songs that make completely NO sense, but if Hunter loves it then I do it! Sometimes I feel a little left out from my friends because I am at a completely different point in my life then they are. I can't really relate to going out on the weekends. They don't know what's it like to wake up at 2am with a crying baby when you're exhausted. When you become a mom your body just gets used to sleep. I still enjoy going out, but I would much rather stay at home with my little family. I know that eventually my friends with all be in the same place I am in their life and then we'll have lots more to talk about. Then we can all have conversations on diaper rash, car seat brands, and what books to read to our babies. For now, I'll just enjoy my little guy and listen to their crazy stories from the night before. The best part is, someday they will all be asking me for advice because I'll already have been there. I can tell them how it is. I love my husband and my little boy more than anything in the world. They complete me and I love watching us grow together as a family. When you get older you lose friends, but gain so much more. Your social group becomes your husband and your child. I get to experience all these moments and I treasure all the early mornings, the icky diapers, and all the giggles. This is the best time of my life and I wouldn't trade it for a night at the bar for anything.

A Brand New Year

Ahhh, 2012 is here! 2011 was by far the best year of my life and I cannot even imagine what 2012 will bring. I am so excited to watch my little Hunter grow and learn and change. Each day he learns something new. He makes my life so great and he keeps me on my toes. He will be 6 months old tomorrow. Completely blows my mind! He has gotten so big and has learned so much and his personality is starting to shine through. I love it. He's so funny and I love his little smiles and giggles. He is going to be a year old before I know it. 


A new year always brings changes. People always have all these resolutions that they want to do and usually by the time March rolls around they don't even remember making them. I've never been big on making new year's resolutions. I think it's because I don't like to fail so if I don't make one then I can't fail! Ha! That sounds pretty lazy now that I think about it. This year I got to thinking that there are a few changes I would like to make. I don't know if I would actually call them resolutions but since it's January 1st, 2012 we can call them that for now. 

• I want to be a better mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister. -I want to be the best I can be when it comes to each label in my life. I want to be a better mother and learn the best things for my baby and how to make him the happiest baby in the world. I want to be a better wife and support my husband even more than I already do and love him and just do my part in this family. I want to be a better friend and be there for my friends and I want them to know that I care and love them. I want to be a better daughter and sister and make my family proud and I want them to know that I will do anything for them. I want my family to know that I would not be who I am today without them. 
• I want to keep meal planning. -I want to make sure that I keep planning meals for my family and save money when it comes to food. 
• I want to focus on the little things. -My baby boy is growing so fast and each day I try to take time to just stare at his beautiful, innocent face. I love to watch him sleep and take in breaths, stare at his plump little lips, feel his little hands and feet, and just admire how wonderful he is. He is definitely a gift from God and I am so blessed that God has given His son to me to raise. I just want to make sure that I don't get caught up in the rush of life and I focus on everything that is right in front of me. I need to just enjoy each moment as it is happening, because once a moment is over you can never get it back. 

I guess I don't have that many changes that I want to make, but I think you always need to think about what you want to do better in your life or you will never have anything to work towards. You have to realize that everything you have right now could be done tomorrow. People aren't in our lives forever so we need to enjoy the time that we spend with everyone that we hold dear in our lives. Tomorrow I could wake up and my whole life could change, but right now, this moment, is all mine. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and regret not living, not loving with everything I have and more. I don't want to regret not being the best I can be. I want to wake up tomorrow and be content with the life that I am living. I think when you have a child you realize how precious life is. You become more aware of what is around and what is happening around you and in the world. You want to make sure that nothing can harm your child and you want them to be the happiest child ever. 

Each day I will probably realize something else I want to change or learn and that's the way it should be. You should never be content with what you know now. You should always want to learn something new. A new year is sometimes what people need to start fresh. They feel like they have a clean slate, a chance to start over and become the person they want. It's all about dedication. You have to be dedicated to change. You can't get discouraged. You must always keep the goal in mind. Once you have your goal, never stray from it. Just go get it. Once you get it you will feel a million times better than if you don't get it. 

Challenge yourself. Challenge the ones you love. Live. Love. Laugh. Focus on what you have right in front of you. Enjoy each day even if it doesn't go exactly the way that you wanted. Be thankful you were able to hear your alarm clock go off and be thankful when you lay your head down on your pillow. Take a deep breath outside and just notice the colors and smells of the world around you. Notice the trees, sky, birds, grass, rocks...We make everything so complicated when really we just need to think of everything as simple. We have one life and that's all we get. Appreciate it, appreciate others, appreciate yourself. 

It is the simple things...

Hunter experienced his first Christmas this past weekend. As I probably have said before, everything Hunter is learning and experiencing is more exciting for me then it probably is for him! I took so many pictures of him opening his presents and of course his stocking. Santa did not forget my 5 1/2 month old! When we made it to my parent's house, which was our last Christmas of the weekend, he loved their tree. He loves all Christmas trees but as I was helping him stand in front of it I couldn't help but notice how he just stared at the lights on the tree and felt the branches. Can you imagine how different the branches must free compared to all his soft, fuzzy clothes and blankets? Everything he is learning, I learned too. I once felt all these different textures and saw all these new things. It doesn't take much to make a baby happy. Heck, the other day I gave Hunter a water bottle and you would think he won the lottery! As we were spending time with our families over the weekend, I once again was hit with reality at how fast life can change and how precious the time is that we share with our loved ones. We never know what is going to tomorrow or even an hour from now, but we have those memories that eventually fade a little more everyday, but we never lose the feelings we had when we were with the people we love. Christmas is a magical time and I think that having a baby around makes you realize how much magic there really is. You get to live like a child again. I wish I could look at life like Hunter does. I wish I could see everything for the first time again. I think I would be much more appreciated. Hunter teaches me more then I think I teach him. 

Hunter opening his first tractor! 

I made three desserts for Christmas and I think they were a great hit. I made a cheesecake and was pretty nervous about how it would turn out, but I thought it was pretty good for a first time! Cheesecake is kind of confusing because the middle isn't suppose to be completely firm, but it turned out great. I also made reindeer cookies and santa hats. 

Reindeer cookies!

Santa hats!

White Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake

Now, it's time to get back into the swing of things. Pick up the house, find places for all the gifts we received, and start the weekly meal planning again. Gosh, when you get off your regular schedule it is very hard to get back on. I have to find time to run this week. The weather here for December has been super mild and I need to get in a couple runs soon. I miss those roads, or well, sidewalks. Hunter is sleeping in his swing so I should take advantage of this quiet time and get some things accomplished. 

Hanging out in his Fisher Price swing. This thing has been a lifesaver!

Until next time...between diapers and miles.

When all else fails...Improvise!!!

Everyday is something new with a baby. Nothing is ever the same as yesterday. He doesn't sleep like he did the night before. He learns how to do something new every single second. He learns new sounds that come out of his mouth. Each time he cries it's never the same as the last cry. Each diaper is a little different...  ;) 


No one tells you how to be a mom. Sure, there's tons and tons of books out there that have a million of "suggestions" about what you SHOULD do, but they are just that, "suggestions." When you give your baby love, food, clothes, clean diapers, baths, and a place to sleep isn't that enough? Some people would say no. "You must educated them!" "Teach them!" Isn't everyday learning enough? Maybe not, maybe so. I think little Hunter learns a lot on his own. He learns things that I can't teach him. Of course, right now he is too young to really understand yes or no. He can't do many things that are "bad." He's a baby! I wonder how long I'll use "he's a baby!" as an excuse for his behavior....probably until he's at least 30. :) Your children will always be your babies no matter how old they are. 


Life is all about learning how to improvise. Nothing ever goes as planned. Not a single day plans out how I want it to. Usually it plays out better than I could have hoped. But, there are always some bumps in the road, road blocks, u-turns...you get the drift. The way we learn to handle unexpected change tells a lot about our character. 


Yesterday, for example, I was making no bake cookies. I realized I didn't have any vanilla (which never happens!). So, I just decide to add some more peanut butter. That isn't really the best substitute, but hey, I like my peanut butter! The cookies were definitely runny and I wasn't sure if they would set up, but they did and they tasted great! I had to improvise. I had to come up with an alternative. When it comes to cooking that doesn't always work out the best however! Haha! 


Everyone should learn how to improvise. Be adventurous. Just act on the spur of the moment. Be spontaneous. Don't be worried if you step in a puddle and your socks get wet. Just take them off and be barefoot! I think that it adds excitement to the everyday life we live. One of the things that I've noticed since I've become a mom is that I act goofy and silly way more now than I did before. Don't get me wrong, I was pretty crazy before, but now I will sing made up songs, dance around and wiggle my arms, and make the most outrageous faces to make this little baby smile. You completely block out the rest of the world when you are a parent. You don't care what you have to do to make your baby smile or laugh. I think I have gotten to know myself better since having a baby. Hunter has definitely made me realize how special and precious life is. 


I wake up everyday and think about what I can do so that Hunter has the best day of his life thus far. Every time he smiles or laughs means that I had the best day of my life. What more could I want besides a happy, healthy baby? 


....BETWEEN DIAPERS AND MILES....

Hanging out with my little guy in his "My First Christmas" hat and Christmas outfit. 

The life of a baby...

Some days I wonder how many seconds a day I stare at little Hunter. I just stare. Especially when he sleeps. The face of a baby is something so innocent. So fresh. So new. Hunter's face is so fresh. Every little smile, every little wrinkle is something that I want to capture forever. His little hands and fingers and toes have so much to discover. So many things to touch and feel and grab. So many miles to walk and run. I just love how innocent he is, his mind is, his body is. 


I love his biggest worry probably doesn't even exist until his tummy starts to growl. I don't think I ever imagined how much a child would need me until he arrived. He relies on me for everything. Food, play, baths, changing his diaper, warmth...the list goes on and on. I remember the first night Ross and I were home with Hunter. It was the middle of the night and Hunter was crying, I was crying, and Ross was standing at the end of the bed and had no idea what to do. I remember saying, "Why did they just send us home with a baby?!" It dawned on me that they send anyone home with a baby. I knew nothing about babies. I had held a newborn once in my life and probably changed a diaper 5 times before Hunter arrived. I was clueless! And then, I was in the outside world, outside of my hospital room that was so safe and so secure and all I had to do was push a button and the nurses were there to answer my questions and to help. It blows my mind. I can imagine how crazy it must be for my parents to see me have a baby to take care of. It is so true that your mother instinct turns on and you just KNOW what to do. I didn't really believe that, but it's definitely true. Your baby knows you and I believe knows the love you have for him. 


We had our first snow of the year and it was Hunter's first snow. Can you imagine what the first snow must look like to someone who has never seen it? Just a big sheet of white outside! I showed Hunter the snow out the window and he just stared and then giggled and smiled. When I think about all his "firsts" it makes me so excited. One of the best things about having a child is being a kid again. And being able to experience everything again. I probably get more excited about Hunter's "firsts" then he does! I think that is just the joy of a parent. 


If only we could all have the mindset of a baby...we would probably enjoy life so much more and worry way less. 


Who knows what's next BETWEEN DIAPERS AND MILES...