Some days I wonder how many seconds a day I stare at little Hunter. I just stare. Especially when he sleeps. The face of a baby is something so innocent. So fresh. So new. Hunter's face is so fresh. Every little smile, every little wrinkle is something that I want to capture forever. His little hands and fingers and toes have so much to discover. So many things to touch and feel and grab. So many miles to walk and run. I just love how innocent he is, his mind is, his body is.
I love his biggest worry probably doesn't even exist until his tummy starts to growl. I don't think I ever imagined how much a child would need me until he arrived. He relies on me for everything. Food, play, baths, changing his diaper, warmth...the list goes on and on. I remember the first night Ross and I were home with Hunter. It was the middle of the night and Hunter was crying, I was crying, and Ross was standing at the end of the bed and had no idea what to do. I remember saying, "Why did they just send us home with a baby?!" It dawned on me that they send anyone home with a baby. I knew nothing about babies. I had held a newborn once in my life and probably changed a diaper 5 times before Hunter arrived. I was clueless! And then, I was in the outside world, outside of my hospital room that was so safe and so secure and all I had to do was push a button and the nurses were there to answer my questions and to help. It blows my mind. I can imagine how crazy it must be for my parents to see me have a baby to take care of. It is so true that your mother instinct turns on and you just KNOW what to do. I didn't really believe that, but it's definitely true. Your baby knows you and I believe knows the love you have for him.
We had our first snow of the year and it was Hunter's first snow. Can you imagine what the first snow must look like to someone who has never seen it? Just a big sheet of white outside! I showed Hunter the snow out the window and he just stared and then giggled and smiled. When I think about all his "firsts" it makes me so excited. One of the best things about having a child is being a kid again. And being able to experience everything again. I probably get more excited about Hunter's "firsts" then he does! I think that is just the joy of a parent.
If only we could all have the mindset of a baby...we would probably enjoy life so much more and worry way less.
Who knows what's next BETWEEN DIAPERS AND MILES...